Entitled little sister expects her mom-of-four sister to wake four sleeping kids for a ride to work, explodes when told no: 'She decided to treat me like a servant for too long'

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Frustrated young woman expressing anger during a heated family argument about responsibilities, boundaries, and work rides.
Ok soo first some background on the situation. I regularly take my sister to work, and pick her up. Sometimes 4-5 days a week, sometimes only a couple or none at all if she finds other rides.
I also have 4 small children (8y, 4y, 3y, & 9mo). My husband works full time and I work part time. She gives me some gas money here and there (never enough to actually cover what I
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use to drive her). This has been going on since she started the overnight shift at the nursing home she works at as a cna.
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She is 23 yr old with no license and no car. Her boyfriend and father of her child is also supposed to share the responsibility of taking her to and from work until she can get her
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own license and vehicle. Normally it's not a big issue to drive her to work most nights as I only work nights on wed & sat.
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However, my husband's work schedule changed for the next 3 weeks to him working 3pm- 11pm. with her having to be at work at 11, 30 min away, this has become an issue. Normally I would take her tonight.
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I told her over a week ago (as soon as my husbands new schedule came out) that I won't be able to take her at night time cause he will be at work and I am not dragging all of my children out that late. I talked to her
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earlier today when I was dropping her off from our nieces bday party that I am unable to take her tonight but will pick her up in the AM. She said okay that's cool I'll find a ride. So I figured that was that.
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Well fast forward to 10pm, I get a call from her fr king out that her boyfriend won't take her that he just walked out the door and now she is stuck with no ride. I told
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her I can't because the kids are sleeping and I'm not waking them up and hauling them out of the house in a hurry to get her there in time.
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So she starts fr king out on me telling me I'm a stupid b and. she's going to lose her job because she can't have any more call outs, it's going to be all my fault when she ends up homeless and no food to feed her son. Super dramatic, and hangs up on me.
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I'm fed up with her always expecting me to jump to her rescue anytime she needs (which is more often than not). Now I know that she very well will most likely lose her job if she doesn't
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go in tonight because they don't play around with that type of thing, she works in healthcare and you must be reliable.
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She apparently had a lot of call outs when my husband and I went on vacation because her boyfriend s ks. I honestly think he's purposefully trying to get her fired so he can control and
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Woman driving a car while helping a family member with transportation.
manipulate her, he's a grade A narcissist but she thinks I'm too "harsh" on him. I'm tired of being walked on by her and her expecting me to do everything to "save" her even when it's not fair to me or my children.
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So AITAH for not taking her, knowing she will probably lose her job?
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Edit to add: there is unfortunately no uber or Lyft in our town. We have 1 cab company that takes 45 min to get to you and it costs her $50 to get work. (Not an excuse cause she still could have called them instead of me and just ate the $50 to keep her job).
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So! She DID get a ride to work last night. which also shows she could've tried every other avenue before bugging me and expecting me to lug my kids out of bed for her. She called me this morning (woke me up bc |
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decided not set an alarm and get her this AM). Acted like she didn't act like a complete lunatic last night, just said don't worry I got a ride this morning so you can go back to bed. Then proceeded to
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try and tell me she needs a ride tonight and in the morning. I didn't really respond and just got up and took care of the babies. I texted her about an hour later, basically telling her I've done enough and she's on her own.
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She decided to treat me like a servant for too long and I'm done. Still no response. I hate to harm our relationship as I truly love her and want what's best for her. I also adore my nephew and he loves me. But she's petty AF
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and I know she will blow up and act like I'm disowning her because I refuse to take her to/from work. We'll see, maybeee she will be an adult and realize she's pushed it too far and be accountable! not holding my breath on that one!
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Young woman smiling in a portrait.
Even-Possession2258 NTA. She's not one of your children. You don't owe her anything, nor are you responsible for her. She shouldn't be hanging the potential fall out on you. Is there no public transit she can take?
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bmw5986 NTA. She is an adult, so, just like the rest of us, She needs to figure it out. She chose not to and then tried to make it your problem. Failure to plan on her doesn't create an emergency on yours.
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Z-Mtn-Man-3394 NTA. Obviously. She can uber, taxi, public transport, etc. You are somewhat complicit in enabling her to not be independent by driving her all the time. You should step back and let her figure her life out herself. Also why doesn't she have her drivers license?
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jam7789 NTA. Who was watching her kid if her boyfriend walked out on her when she had to go to work?
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-AlienSkin She needs to learn to solve her own issues or you will forever be saving her from herself. Why can't she get a license again? Has she even tried? Why is her getting to work your responsibility. Take care of your babies and let her sink enough to understand she is her worst nightmare.
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One-Efficiency-7701 She's an adult, not a child. It's not your responsibility to get her where she needs to be. As long as someone else is making these plans and decisions for her, she'll never need to stand in her own. PS if it costs $50 to get to her job in a small town, she needs a closer job or become an Uber driver.
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